Self Reflection - New Year 2009

It is hard in this life to be understood. and it is even harder to wake up everyday and decide to see the good things around us. to choose love instead of anger and hate, to choose light instead of the dark clouds of negativity. and really, it is sometimes far too easy to fall apart (i know, i've spent most of this year falling apart and feeling defeated)

the year comes to a close, and instead of a long list of new year's resolutions to stack in front of me, instead i'm just trying to understand things in my life. my heart, my dreams, my desires, and my own place in this world.

and i'm learning to let go of some things.
to not always leap without thinking.
but to sometimes take a jump, even when it scares me.
to somehow find that precarious balance between.

and i'm saying some goodbyes.
and some hellos.

for me, that is enough to welcome the new year's in with.
for me, it is more than enough.

"One more night a new day begins, One more year another chance begins. Lets start with new hopes, make a difference.. Happy New Year 2009!"

Sampai nanti Sampai mati

Kalau kau pernah takut mati
Sama…
Kalau kau pernah patah hati
Aku juga iya…

Tak peduli
Kalau kau kejar mimpimu salut
Kalau kau ingin berhenti
Ingat tuk mulai lagi

Tetap semangat
Dan teguhkan hati
Tetap melangkah
Dan keraskan hati
Di setiap hari
Sampai nanti sampai mati

listening to this old song. suddenly it just hit me. what i've been doing to my life. so messy. most of 'em i created myself. such a drama queen. such a weak spoiled little brat. i need to get up and fix all of this. face the facts with bravery. live with it. give my best to everything.